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Chris & Deborah
We have long desired to become parents and consider the opportunity to adopt an absolute privilege. Adoption has always been something we thought about, since Chris was adopted as an infant. We have cared for many kids as auntie and uncle, and look forward to providing a safe, loving home for a child. We are excited to see our family grow through adoption and thank you for considering us as potential parents for your child.
Why We Chose Adoption
As an adoptee himself, Chris has always hoped adopting a child might be in his future. Deborah has always known she wanted to be a parent, so asked Chris what his dreams for a family were on their first date, and he brought up the possibility of adopting. Although Chris was adopted internationally, the conversation was left open about which adoption path we might take. The initial plan was to try to get pregnant and then after we had our first child, do more research to determine if we wanted to pursue international or domestic adoption or become foster parents. After trying to conceive for a few years, it became apparent that having a biological child is unlikely to happen. This focused our attention on domestic infant adoption so that we can raise and love a child from their earliest moments and memories. Through prayer, conversation with others who have adopted, and a lot of research, we solidified that this was our path to growing our family.
It is our hope and prayer that through adoption, we can build a strong and positive relationship with the birth family. We hope our child will know where they came from and how deeply loved they are by both their birth parents and us. We will be intentional about learning as much as we can about our child's birth culture and sharing it with them so that they feel a sense of connection, community, and belonging throughout their life.
Our Leisure Time
We love traveling and take advantage of Chris' school breaks to see new places or visit friends. During trips we enjoy checking out historic sites, hiking, sampling local cuisine, and visiting baseball stadiums. Chris is an avid baseball fan, so any opportunity he has to check another stadium off his list is a win in his book, regardless of the outcome of the game. Deborah counts any trip that involves being near the water–ocean, lake, waterfall–a win.
While we love traveling, we are fortunate to have lots of fun things to do nearby. Fun activities we enjoy together or as an excuse to meet up with others are hiking the California coast, visiting interactive museums like the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Exploratorium, and California Academy of Science, and going to Giants and Sharks games. Occasionally you will find Chris out on the golf course, although his skills might best lend themselves to sticking to the driving range and mini golf. We also enjoy having picnics and going bowling with friends.
Some of the things we enjoy at home are watching sports and comedies, reading, going to the pool, and cooking. We particularly enjoyed cooking together when everything was closed down from the pandemic and we had lots of time to try new dishes, but we still enjoy cooking together a few days a week. Deborah loves any excuse to bake, especially in the fall and winter when the smell from the spices is almost as good as the taste!
What It Means to Become Parents
We have talked about starting our family since our first date, and see the opportunity to become parents as an incredible blessing. One of the things we connected on early in our dating was a shared passion for having a positive impact on the world, and a child would be an ultimate expression of that. We hope to raise our child to be someone who is loving, welcoming, and encouraging to everyone they meet and with their own vision of what it means to make the world a better place.
Deborah has always known she wants to be a mom. She has channeled her love for children into running elementary school tutoring and after school programs and the children's ministry at our church. And her nurturing energy has made her an excellent coach and developer of leaders in those settings. Deborah is most excited for the little moments—watching our child grow, reading with our child, and teaching them how to bake cookies. She is excited to watch our child develop friendships and hopes to be the house where all the kids want to hang out. In Chris' current role as an elementary school educator, he molds students' minds on a daily basis, empowering them with the skills they need to be successful. As a parent he is most excited about the chance to shape his own child's life by teaching them not only how to read, but kindness, compassion, and hopefully how to properly shoot a free throw.
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Our House and Neighborhood
We live in a lovely neighborhood with elementary schools, playgrounds, parks, and a library within a five minute drive. We live in a two-bedroom apartment in a complex with a pool. There are many kids who live in our complex and kid-friendly social events throughout the year. We enjoy walking nearby trails and participating in local events including a summer free concert series and weekly farmers market. Our small downtown features many small businesses and restaurants with outdoor seating. While we enjoy the small town feel of where we live, we also have the benefit of being very close to several major California cities. This means Chris can attend a variety of live sporting events and Deborah can see plays and musicals at a local theater. We also have easy access to a wide range of ethnic cuisines. We live an hour from the coast, where our child will be able to frequent the beach, go on hikes, and marvel at the giant redwood trees. We look forward to family trips to scenic spots such as Lake Tahoe and Yosemite.
Besides our neighborhood, our church is the center of our community. Deborah works at church and we both are involved in a weekly group where we discuss the Bible and pray about what is happening in our lives. Our church has a robust children's ministry and youth program. Our child will have the opportunity to grow within the same loving community that is supporting us on our adoption journey.
Our Extended Families
Family is one of our core values. Deborah's parents live an hour away and we share a monthly extended meal. Deborah's sister, brother-in-law, and our two-year-old niece live two hours away and we visit bi-monthly. Between visits, we have regular FaceTime calls, often centered on our niece. We spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with Deborah's extended family. The holidays are a blessed time filled with Chinese food, dim sum, board and card games, and movies. We are planning a trip with Deborah's family to Disneyland next year, which was a childhood tradition in her family.
Chris' family lives farther away, where he was raised in Minnesota. We have regular video calls to keep Chris' parents updated on our lives and visit them annually. During our Minnesota visits, we spend a lot of time with Chris' parents and older sisters catching up and playing card games. Chris' father is an avid gardener, so these visits include mouthwatering homegrown food. We also take advantage of the fact that Minnesota is known for its bountiful lakes, and Deborah's favorite thing, waterfalls.
In addition to our nuclear family, we have a strong support network within our church community. This means there are many "aunts and uncles" for our child, and that our child will have their kids to grow up alongside. The support of our family and friends has been invaluable throughout the adoption process, and we cannot wait to share this love and support with our child.
From Us to You
Thank you for taking the time to learn more about us and for considering us as potential parents for your child. We cannot imagine the decision you are facing, and hope you know how strong and brave you are in navigating this path for your child.
We met online in 2018 and our first in-person date was an hours-long dinner where the conversation included adoption! Deborah has always known she has wanted to be a mom and had little interest in pursuing a relationship with someone if they were not enthusiastic about kids. Chris was adopted, so has always considered adopting a child one day. We were delighted to have a shared interest in having a family with two kids and an openness to adoption. Deborah has friends who have become parents through domestic adoption or fostering and Chris was adopted internationally, so we knew there were many possible routes to consider down the road.
Like many people, our lives were greatly impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. Most notably, our wedding ceremony was postponed, but we were thankfully still able to get legally married in 2020 as originally planned. California was ravaged with wildfires that year, so we started our married life quite literally trapped in our apartment together because of the air quality. Not only were we trying to figure out how to live together, but we also had to learn to share space, in a one bedroom apartment, to work remotely. We learned a lot that year about our communication, how we each deal with stressful situations, perseverance, and how to find reasons to laugh even when things are really hard.
The lessons we learned early in our marriage have helped build muscles that will serve us well on the parenting journey. We have learned what is helpful to one another in areas of disagreement and how to come back from harmful miscommunications. We had so much of our early life together go differently than expected, and have learned to hold plans and expectations lightly, focusing on making the most of the time we have with the people we care about when we have it. We have learned to find joy and beauty in the smallest things.
We have been trying to build our family since 2021 and in the second half of 2023 learned there would be significant barriers to conception for us. While this news brought great sadness, it also brought with it great clarity. Since we had always considered adoption as part of our family building plan, but had been unsure of what sort of adoption we wanted to pursue, this focused our attention on domestic infant adoption. We knew from the joy of watching our niece grow that we wanted to be able to see our child go through all the early developmental stages.
If you choose us as the parents for your child, you would be giving us the greatest gift. Deborah feels like she has an innate sense of purpose that will go unrealized without a child to love, nurture, and develop. Chris understands the immense responsibility being placed on him as a father, to guide, mold and care for our child in a manner that always demonstrates love. Together we commit to providing a safe, nurturing home for our child where they will always know they are loved by us, God, and you.
As our child grows, we are happy to share updates with you about their growth, development, and achievements through photos, letters, and emails if desired. We would be excited about the chance to get to know you and work together to maintain a healthy relationship so that our child can have a chance to know you and their personal history. We are open to arranging for video calls or in-person visits if it is in the best interest of both you and the child. Regardless of the type of involvement you choose to have ongoing, we commit to speak highly of you and your selfless choice to your child.
Thank you for taking the time to learn more about us and our heart for our child. We will be eternally grateful to you for the gift of parenthood.
Chris & Deborah
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