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Mike & Amanda
Growing our family through adoption is a long-held goal. Amanda's mother is adopted, which transformed her life's trajectory. As first-generation Americans (Mike is Italian and Amanda is Cuban), our cultures are foundational to our family oriented home. Thank you for spending the time reviewing our profile, we are honored by your consideration.
Our Life Priorities
Family is very important to us. Our son, Luca, is two years old. He loves all things dinosaurs, and ensures they're fed and tucked in before bed. He loves to dance and finds any excuse to do so - even if he’s just listening to “hold” music. His love for life is infectious, and we are so excited to watch him grow into the big brother we know he can be.
A few years ago, we moved back to California to be closer to our families. We knew we were going to grow our family, and having a support system nearby is important to us. We see Mike's widowed mother at least once a week and are often joined by Mike's brother's family. Amanda's parents live nearby in Nevada, and we see them at least every other month. For us, family includes our friends and their families, all the people who have supported our journey and have influenced our lives. Luca’s Godparents are mutual friends from high school whom we have kept in our lives for almost twenty years.
The joys and challenges throughout our lives have shaped our priorities. 2023 was a challenging year for us. In late 2022, Mike's dad was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. As we entered 2023, his condition deteriorated and our priorities were clarified. Mike took short-term disability, pausing his work to focus on helping care for his dad through the transition from hospital care, into hospice, and beyond. Ultimately, we define our priorities by what helps us to live our best and most authentic lives: our household, our family and our friends.
Our Cultural Heritage
Both Amanda and Mike are first-generation Americans, and products of large immigrant families. Mike's family is from a small island off the coast of Sicily called Favignana. Both sides of his parents' families have been living on this small island for generations, and he maintains his Italian citizenship and considers himself both Italian and American. He speaks frequently with family throughout Italy and tries to visit with them every few years. Since getting married six years ago, they've been able to visit multiple times, including once for their honeymoon and once for a family reunion that Amanda's parents also joined.
Amanda's parents were both born in Cuba. Her father travelled to America with his parents and eldest brother, and her mother was adopted in Miami. Now, all of her cousins and aunts/uncles live in Miami and she's made it a priority to see them at least once a year since she was born. Some of her fondest memories are of Noche Buena, roasting a pig in the backyard, with the entire family laughing and singing around her. We keep this family tradition alive and will be hosting Noche Buena this year– pig included. At the core of it all is the pattern that our most impactful memories are those of delicious meals spent with dozens of family members, standing around the kitchen, sharing memories and telling stories with boisterous laughter.
Discussing Adoption
Amanda's mother was adopted as an infant. Her birth parents lived in Cuba, but both families made the effort to continue to send letters and pictures when they could. As Amanda grew up, her mother shared these updates with her – so Amanda could get to know her extended family as well.
We value honesty and transparency; kids deserve to be trusted with the truth so we can trust each other as a family. We want them to know that we embrace everything about them, and love them. We will explain that their biology and how they are raised are both beautiful aspects of who they are but, ultimately, who they become is up to them.
A child's relationship with their biological parent(s) is personal and complicated, and that will also be true for this child. We are not going to assume we know what the dynamics of our relationship will be – since we have not met you yet. But what we can do is assure you that we want what's best for our child, and we believe that requires us to understand the relationship you're looking for and strive to fulfill it. We will empower them to own the relationship they have with you, if you are open to it. And, if not, they will know the truth – that they were cared for as they grew in you, they were cared for when you entrusted them with us, and they will continue to be cared for because they are worth it. Most importantly, they are loved.
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Our House and Neighborhood
We live in California, in close proximity to the beach, a thriving downtown, and the mountains. The spot is perfect because it's close to our family and friends, but we also have access to three very different ecosystems! The neighborhood is very safe and quiet, but there are kids both in our cul-de-sac, as well as on the various streets nearby. Not to mention, we have access to the coolest park we've ever seen with a swing that both parent and baby can swing on, a multi-level slide, and a zip line.
Our house is warm and welcoming with a lot of open space that is perfect for entertaining. The space includes a foosball table, a pool table, a giant TV, and a table that’s perfect for family game nights.
There are multiple bedrooms, with the nursery immediately adjacent to ours. There is no bathroom in the nursery. As our children grow, they will each have their own room with a walk-in closet and private bathroom.
We have already child-proofed the home for our two year-old son Luca and we are so excited about the prospect of adding more laughter and noise into our home.
Our Extended Families
Two years ago we moved to San Diego from Boston to be closer to our families. Mike's mom, brother, and US-based family live nearby; we have more than 25 family members within an hour's drive. Amanda’s parents live in Nevada, a five hour drive from home, with the remainder of the US-based family residing in Miami.
We value and cherish having a support system nearby, ready to welcome a new child into our lives with eager arms. We have shared our vision of adoption and everyone is looking forward to loving our newest little one. Our family ties are incredibly important in our lives: we are lucky that we can blend both families into a large group of loud people who love to laugh and eat good food. Every year we host Noche Buena (Christmas Eve) for both families, where we roast a whole pig and spend the day cooking and celebrating our time together.
When we aren't spending time with family, we spend time with our friends: hiking/camping in the woods, having BBQs at the beach, or spending the weekend in the city. Life is short and the exposure to a wealth of experiences sparks curiosity and fuels a life well-lived. We are excited to teach our children about the joy life has to offer and are honored to be considered for the opportunity to share our love for life with yours.
From Us to You
Before we introduce ourselves, thank you for taking the time: the time to read this, the time to consider us as possible parents for your growing baby, and the time and effort to work with us and the agency to do what you think is best. Though this feels wild to write, we (Mike and Amanda) have known each other for eighteen years, and have been married for six. We support each other in our defining moments; celebrating our successes and comforting each other in our struggles. Whether we have been 3000 miles away from each other or living in the same city apartment, we’ve always had each other’s backs. Despite spending most of our lives growing up in Southern California, we first moved in together in Boston during the snowiest season on record… and Boston has kept records for a long time. We learned to work together well in difficult (and cold) circumstances, juggling Amanda’s MBA at Boston College and Mike’s PhD at Harvard. We survived, we thrived, and we learned to love the city with our puggle, Radley.
We find ourselves back in California, living in the San Diego suburbs where we’re both close to our extended family and childhood friends. We have a two-year old son who loves to see his nonna and abuelos, and play with cars and dinosaurs. He feeds his toys and roars at friend and foes alike. Our first two years of parenthood have been fun, challenging, and surprising. We love our family and are both well-prepared and excited to bring another child into our home.
A home that fosters learning, leaning into our children’s interests, and prioritizes each other’s health and happiness. A home full of laughter and dancing. A home where challenge is embraced, failure is temporary, and success is always a possibility. We fully intend to provide the foundation necessary to enable our children to thrive, knowing that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to and reassured that they will never be alone (except when they want to be).
Amanda grew up with adoption in her life; her Cuban birth mother was adopted by a family in Miami as an infant. Amanda’s grandmother’s decision changed the trajectory of her mother’s life and made Amanda’s life possible. We know adoption is complex and each circumstance is unique. Our experience has been positive, with Amanda’s connection to her mother’s family through pictures and FaceTime being especially treasured. Likewise, your place in our future story will be one of significance, and we intend to honor that with the respect it deserves.
It would be our pleasure to keep you informed of our child’s growth and milestones, and we will empower them to provide updates on their lives as they get older. We would be open to maintaining this relationship through letters, phone calls, emails, and in-person. We want our child to understand the incredible amount of strength you showed during their development, the love that resulted in their adoption, and the immeasurable joy we have found in our family’s completeness.
If we are lucky, this will be just the first of a lifetime of correspondence between us. The beginning of a relationship based on mutual respect, and a dedication to the future child that will link us forever. We promise to love this child unconditionally and provide them a nurturing environment where they can flourish.
Thank you again for your time and consideration, we are so incredibly grateful for you.
Mike Ernandes and Amanda Valdes
Mike & Amanda
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